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Things you can buy on Trueswords.com
by:Pox
2009/03/04
For those of you who don't know, Trueswords.com is a teenager's wet dream. You can purchase any dangerous/sharp object you can imagine for sweet sweet sweatshop prices. I was browsing it for reasearch purposes of the most important kind and was mildly amazed by some of the crap they sell:

500 000 Volt Stun Baton...
47.99$


Currently out of stock... Uh oh...

Secret Lipstick Stun Gun
32.99$


Hiding tazers in every day items you use almost by reflex.... yes brilliant.

Complete Guide to Lock Picking
19.99$


If you're buying this you're either an aspiring criminal or an idiot who lost the keys to his house.

Caltrops
2.99$


The best thing you can do with these is not step on them by accident.

Barbarian Spike
13.99$


For some reason, you can't buy this if you live in California. The website offers no clues as to why that is. You can buy a razor sharp sword or a stun gun but not a glorified baseball bat?

American Eagle Dagger
9.99$


Perfect for stabbing illegal immigrants, terrorists and black people ( in self-defense of course ).

US Military Style Helmet w/ Chin Strap
16.99$


I just love the dumb look on his face. Just look at him. He's so happy to own this helmet. He feels so pretty.

Bullet Knife
6.99$


The ultimate weapon.

Some Piece of Shit
19.94$


This might just be the stupidest, tackiest piece of crap you could ever give anyone. Brilliant.

Death Stalker
38.99$


Wear one on each arm as you go about your daily life and earn the respect of your peers.

Drug Prevention Tests - 5 Panel
17.99$


Look at that kid, he's 5 years old and his dad regularly tests his urine to see if he does blow. You might think it would look nuts to walk around with metal scorpions strapped to your arms but.. THIS... now THIS is insane.

Grim Reaper Toilet Brush
21.99$


Makes cleaning the toilet even scarier.

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