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Fancy Bacon Time
by:Pox
2012/04/09


It's Easter again! Holy shit, that means it's time to eat bacon. Dipped in chocolate. Sounds like a great idea, right? AND IT IS.

LOOK AT THIS SWEET BONANZA OF AWESOME TASTE EXPLOSIONS!




THE PREPARATION

Two packs of sweet sweet bacon.


Woah I got a Kinder Surprise! Bet this will be EPIC!


What the shit is that?


Oh it's some kind of lame-ass stamp.


Well I know what to dip this in now!


Look at that, seems there was already ink in there. Looks like I didn't need to dip that little shitty toy in bacon grease after all! Fancy that.


Look at this sweet pile of heaven!


Huh what the hell, I got a half candy. I want my 2 cents back!!


THE TASTY TIMES

Hm, looks like a bunch of poops!


Separating each little bit into 4 for me and my guests. My guests who I may live with.


The setting for the feast!


So we got Diet Coke to drink and white bread to clean our palattes in between each sampling!

This Coke has a rich velvetty robe.


What a delicate bouquet!


So fancy.


About halfway done I was kind of less excited about the idea of bacon in my mouth.


My friend Roberto not taking this seriously. This is what passes for a scientist these days?


Quick taste of bread while I write down important chocolate notes.


Roomate concentrating for this harduous task, probably trying not to vomit...


HMMMM!


So what are the results? What's the best thing you can cover bacon with? Let's see the final scores for each with some notes from the judges:

# Name Rating Comments
1 Cadbury Creme Egg 6.5/10 "Too sweet."
2 LIFE Caramel Egg 6/10 "Juicy, slightly caramelized."
3 Lindor Lindt Egg 6/10 "Too melty."
4 Kinder Surprise 6.8/10 "Crunchy."
5 LIFE Creme Egg 6.8/10 "Baconade in my mouth."
6 Caramilk Egg 7.5/10 "Crunchy and revealing."
7 Aero Mint Lamb 7.6/10 "The best thing for your breath!"
8 Aero Egg 4.8/10 "Juicy and bitter."
9 Cadburry Mini Egg 7.5/10 "Authentic good candy!"
10 Almond Nougat 3.8/10 "Poop"
11 Swiss Delice 72% Dark Cocoa 2/10 "Yuck yuck yuck!"
12 Sorini White Chocolate 5.5/10 "Juicy but not as bad..."
13 Perte Sorini 5.31/10 "Juicy, same taste as 12."
14 Sorini Milk Chocolate 6.2/10 "Chocolate dissolves in mouth."
15 Sorini 6.7/10 "Nutty taste rofl."
16 White Chocolate 7.35/10 "Bland"
17 Milk Chocolate 5.7/10 "Magic bacon."
18 Mint Chocolate Candy 5/10 "Innedible."
19 Butter n' Cream Candy 5.6/10 "Butter candy + bacon = yum!"
20 Coffee Candy 6/10 "Little bit of mint. Meh."
21 Caramel 7.3/10 "Caramel, doesn't taste like bacon, hard to chew."
22 Strawberry Candy 3/10 "Tastes like red lollipop."
23 Fudge Caramel 6.2/10 "meh"


WINNER: Aero Mint Lamb
LOSER:Swiss Delice 72% Dark Cocoa

My conclusion? If there's a good chocolate bacon recipe, I sure haven't found it today! Mixing bacon with chocolate basically makes both worse! Though it seemed to taste pretty awesome when it was warmer, so maybe next time we can have a chocolate meat fondue. Fuck yeah.

I highly suggest you do this with your friends. Because. Yeah why not? Being happy takes work, unless you're one of THOSE fucking people. If you are, just die.


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