BARB WIRE (1996)
1. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS "MOVIE":
OK OFF TO A GOOD START... YES...
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2. AUSTIN POWERS: SERIOUSLY, WHO THROWS A SHOE???.
BARB WIRE. BARB WIRE THROWS A SHOE!!
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3. OK GUESS WHAT THAT SEXY MACHINE DOES:
-Turns you into a Borg
-Gives people an excuse to get you naked
-It's a mind-reading torture machine that is activated with a Nintendo Powerglove.
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DING DING WINNER!
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4. I WANT CANADIAN MONEY.
Yeah that's right, suck it Americans, in 2017, Canadian money will be worth something!
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5. HEY IT'S JANGO FETT NICE
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6. COCK GRAB.
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7. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW COOL THAT WAS WHEN I WAS 12.
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8.HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST-LOOKING POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE HELMET OF ANY MOVIE EVER
ON SECOND THOUGHT...
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9. HIS NAME IS BIG FATSO AND THEY MOVE HIM AROUND WITH A TRACTOR. WHAT A COOL VILAIN, RIGHT?...
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10.A BLACK CHICK WITH NEON BLUE EYES? THAT'S HELLA HOT.
Though it is pretty stupid since the point was to get by unoticed to escape to Canada by bypassing the retinal
scanners.GOOD JOB MORON, why don't you get yellow contacts while you're at it? That sure won't arouse any
suspicions.
Ah, it's so easy to shit on something you took no part in while you yourself have never done anything even
remotely close to a big-budget movie! WOO! They sure should hire me, mr. armchair movie critic, to fix all their problems!
ANYWAYS DON'T WATCH BARB WIRE UNLESS YOU LIKE EXPLOSIONS, GUNS, BOOBS AND THE SUGGESTION THAT BY 2017, U.S. ARMY PERSONEL WILL BE WEARING NAZI CLOTHING.
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