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Time to Eat Some Chinese Candy
by:Pox
2012/03/28
So today I went to Montreal's Chinatown with a friend of mine. I bought candy. Weird candy. This is what happened next.


Oh there's even MORE!

*** Ok so someone informed me that not all of these are Chinese. Haha. Here's the breakdown: ***

- Chew things == Chinese
- Koala Snack == Thailand
- Asparagus Sable == Japan
- Okonomyaki chips == Japan
- Shrimp chips == South Korea
- Cuttlefish chips == South Korea
- Yellow Balls == China



Ok what the hell is this? It's cute and all. The only information I can find on the front of the package is this:


LIMITLESS MAGNIFICENCE
Alright, sweet, looks like I accidentally bought the best candy on earth, can't wait to try it...


Oh..wow that looks.. appetizing..


hmmm...some kind of dried...prune..?


Oh God why is it so s...salty? Wharg...


Hmmm save me, save me aspartame!

Ok what's next....


Some kind of chews? Is this gum? They look like gum packages.

Wait.... what's this?



HOLY FUCK!


















Ok that doesn't look too bad...




Hmm...pleasant texture...peanut butter taste...


...and..s..soap? What?


Ok how about this peppermint one then....


Meh...


Oh this looks good! Koalas? Yes.


Aw it's some kind of tiny little cookies...


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAW




Hmmm Strawberry or something... GOOD, GOOD! I approve of this one.

What now?


Oh right .... I ate those already...

They tasted like BBQ chips. BIG DEAL. Why'd I even bother?


Oh... that's..creative... What's in this...??


Wow...yep not a single trace of asparagus...

Hmm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiittttaminute...


Oh great! Thanks, Chinese convenience store person!

Well.. aright.. how bad could it be...


I... I can't tell if this smell is normal...


Looks like little crackers...


...


WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THIS???

Erg...


Oh boy...

*reads ingredients*

Yeah it sure does contain cuttlefish... Hey waitaminute here...



OK!


*sniff*


*crunch* *crunch*

Hm kinda good...


Wow what a let-down! This is normal!


So that's what they do with all those shrimp heads we don't eat...


Well.... alright... no time like the present...




This is BORINGLY gross. Worst snack ever. Maybe I'm getting tired of eating this junk now...

Oh wait, one last thing!


...


PLEASANT IN AFTER-TASTE....


Yeah this is definitely something's testicle.


Smells...


Arrrf


NO!


NOOOO!


WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???


YOU DIE!!


THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF YOU!


GULP GULP GULP


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah!

Saved!

Well I highly recommend you buy tons of Chinese candy, obviously! DELICIOUS. Can't wait to see what happens to my body now!


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