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Montreal Botanical Garden
by:Pox
2011/01/05
My testosterone was down today so I decided to boost it back up by doing something extra-manly: visit a garden. More specifically, the Montreal Botanical Garden! Over 22 000 plant species for people to not give a rat's ass about. Can you believe nature has that much time to waste? And on flowers? 5000 kinds of roses and only two kinds of rhinoceros? Lame.


The garden entrance.


You can see the Olympic Stadium from the interior of the park.


The entrance to the rose garden. So many roses.


What looks like a little girl smelling roses is actually a human attached to a hand being shoved down a hornet's nest. Made my day!


There's more grass than roses in this. I guess planting roses is a waste of time if you can't make them carpet the scenery. Pfff


Man this is just too manly.


I can feel my pecs flexing just looking at this.


The escape from the rose garden. On the left is the entrance to the Chinese garden.


The Chinese garden.


Look at this neat little mural they have going there. It's about cranes. Cranes plotting the end of humanity. Damn cranes.


It's actually quite breathtaking. Too bad I had to be there alone like some loser.


Neat.


One of the ponds.


Just like China. Probably. Except with less poor people and better access to the internet.


They should probably tear down that stadium, it's ruining the view.


No one knows where this goes.


A pretty waterfall.


Then there's a huge area dedicated to plants that grow in the tundra and on top of mountains. They all look the same


It's very well maintained. I barely even want to step out of the path to crush the rare fragile plants.


Another waterfall. Somehow I can't help but feel this is a waste of electricity.


So one sign says "Watch Out" and the other says "please". Hm. Well as far as I know, the last sign in effect is the correct one. Can't blame me for where my feet may fall.


This was called the "vertical crevasse" garden. I could tell you what that means if I had read the sign. Instead, I took this picture of the cool rocks they had set up there.


The lilac collection sign. The prettiest sign of them all.


An alley boarded by lilacs. Sadly it's long passed their flowering season so they're basically just a bunch of trees. AND I HATE TREES.



A raven free-loading around the lilacs. Damn animals always mooching off humans.



It keeps going and going....



Some... kinda..plant...



A pond with NO FROGS IN IT. What a lame-ass garden.


I named this "The Saddest Tree in the World".


I don't even...remember what this is...and I was there 5 hours ago!



This is the giant vegetable and fruit garden.



Berries, the only thing worth cultivating.


Hmm, I like those little red ones. What is that?



The cabbage patch, bane of all children. Can you believe there's that many varieties of something no one wants to eat?


Where you should go to escape the evil sun.


This is the greenhouse. I should have gone in there but I was running out of pictures... Too bad, I bet they have all manner of giant man-eating flowers in there...*sigh*


Nearing the exit. There's a restaurant! I'm sure they serve only the rarest of carrots there.


Kind of looks like the Death Star entrance. Well not really but...I'm..bored...


Garlic. Garlic looks awesome.


Neato.


Every good garden has statues of naked people in it.


Wish I could have gotten a better shot of this MOSS DOG, the DOG MADE OF MOSS.


And now we're leaving. You can get into this area for free! Freeeee!

What a colorful visit. I hope you enjoyed reading this at least 21% as much as I enjoyed thinking about dinosaurs while visiting that place!


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